Took a leap

It's official - I've opened my Etsy shop! So far there is only one item listed, but don't worry - more are waiting in the wings! I know few - if any - of you are in need of handspun yarn, but I just wanted to brag a little.

Honestly, it's a little nervewracking - even more than the craft shows a few years ago were - but I know that I'll be over the moon if I actually sell something.

If you're interested, my shop is: EvergreenCreations.etsy.com.

Yay!

No more Dracula

I like to think that this weekend made up for the Dracula fiasco - yesterday, T and I were able to go see the Trans-Siberean Orchestra play in Albany. We've wanted to go for a while, but we never heard about it early enough to get tickets (they always sell out early!). We lucked out this year, though, and I have to say - it was well worth the trip.

The first half of the show was basically their "Christmas Eve and other stories" CD, beginning to end, but the lights and the personality of their performers made it much more powerful in person. The second half was "new" stuff - classical music that they have re-purposed and will be releasing on their next album sometime in the future.

If you like TSO, their live concerts are fantastic - but be forewarned, their shows are more rock band than orchestra, with lots of pyrotechnics and laser lights. Way fun, though!

To top off the weekend, I got in to work today to find that our reviews (which we turned in way back in August) have finally been processed. That means that I actually got a raise! This is the first one that I have received, that wasn't state mandated, since I started working 11 years ago. Yay!

Reassurance

Ok, so I ranted and raved, I cried a little, I posted thoughts on here that I don't like to admit to myself, much less to anyone else...and you know what? I feel better. Not great-that will take a while-but better.

Amazingly, the first thing I saw when I logged back in to post this update was the comment on my post about Etsy. Even though the problem that I'm currently having is different, that comment made me feel much better. It made me feel loved.

Even though my dear commenter didn't leave a name ( I have my suspicions about the identity!), I would like to thank them. You never know what the impact of a little thing like that will be - in this case, it was much greater than was intended.

Thanks.

Dark side

Don't want to hear me whining? Don't read this one.


I am a jealous person. I know this - I always have been. I compare myself and my situation to those around me, and usually find myself coming up short. I struggle with this, and I thought I was starting to do better. I can usually seperate my wants from my needs, and I realize how incredibly fortunate I am that my needs are more than met. I've never truly been without anything important. I know this. I don't need the piles of money, though I would like a house of my own. I don't need a new car, though I would like enough money to put new tires on my husband's. I don't need the cool gadget, or the great trip, or any of the material things that I covet.

But how do I squelch the jealousy that comes from seeing my nearest and dearest given the one thing that I have always - all my life - secretly and not-so-secretly desired? The one thing that I would sincerely and joyfully give up everything to have?

How do I shake the anger, the hurt, the jealousy and the fear, how do I put away the silly dreams I built around my desire, in order to be the strong, caring, loving, supportive person I need to be now?

Sorry to be so vague - it's not my story to share at the moment. Some of you know what I'm talking about, some may guess, and some won't care either way. I just need to get this out there, and I can't deal with talking to anyone in person right now.